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After every sexual escapade my friends and I enjoyed in college, we'd ask each other one very big, important question: "Was he packing the heat? It's almost comical to think having a big penis equates to good sex, because, honestly -- and this is something I wish I could scream at my early something self -- that's just total bullshit. Because those are still great.

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Like, I don't care whose taxes they are, or if the person whose taxes I'm doing are gonna do my taxes afterwards, but sitting down and filing federal taxes for the spring quarter is like, my favorite thing to do for hours and hours. I know you're not supposed to talk about how you 'like' doing taxes, and everyone is like, 'Ew, you actually like doing taxes? I love doing taxes! Have you ever heard anybody say this out loud?

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